Monday, December 30, 2013

#30 Remember me?

Please don't look at Blog #29. If you do, you will see that it has been over a year since I have sat down to write. Well, I write. E-mails and FaceBook and the occasional real letter on paper, that is not what I mean. My muse has been AWOL. I would like to think that she has been having a wild fling somewhere in London or Barcelona. Perhaps she was exploring in Namibia or Patagonia? Where ever she was, it wasn't with me in Alameda/Oakland or driving back and forth 3 times (and 9 thousand miles) to NYC. She is a that as it rhymes with itch.
So I am back in New York. 2 more years! I volunteered to return, in order that my fully capable and very smart son would have a reliable Subway Guide. Natalie, I was never worried about. She will navigate this city, to and from NYU and to all points far and wide, without a problem. Given that Richard would get lost in Berkeley, you get my drift.
Not that I am with them that much at all, anyway. They lead their own lives. We pass in the very narrow hallway which holds our kitchen (if you can call a mini fridge, a sink and a very small gas stovetop/oven a kitchen), chat about what's going on and then go and do our "thing". They are night people, and I am very much a day person. No one is underfoot. As far as I am is all perfectly choreographed.
Speaking of choreography, I am branching out as far as the "theatre" is concerned. I am doing lots more off Broadway and even off off shows. I still haven't seen Matilda or Kinky Boots, those big blockbusters. I am going to improv, dance and comedy shows. I saw an all girl production of Julius Caesar and an all male production of 12th Night. Readings and concerts done by My Divas are still high on my list. Lots to do and not enough time or money to do them all. 2 years is not long enough...which brings me to my real point......there never is enough time.
Two weeks ago, I got a kick in the gut that has not, nor ever will be mended. Someone so close to me I consider a sister has told me that she has Alzheimer's. I can't really talk about where my head and heart go when I get close to that last sentence. It's too soon, and I am too close to her to be able to stand back and think. I just react. Been doing that for 2 weeks now and it's not getting easier. I just need to say one thing out loud and each day well, by telling those you care about, they are loved. I was going to say something about being healthy and exercise, but in this case, she did all that and that fucking disease found her anyway. I'm so angry!
It has been my humorous diversion to say that my life is a Soap Opera that no one would even bother to watch. We all have aggravations and emotions that fill our lives, but in the great scheme of things, all that drama is just background noise. Nothing matters more than friendship and love, and I am very angry that some monstrous disease is taking that away from me. I fully intend to be a glass half full person to my friends and my family. Please join me in that quest.
Someone sing TheBeatles "All We Need Is Love" now. Please don't ask me to start it. I have an "only in the car...alone" kind of voice!


  1. I'm so glad you found your Muse! This blog was well worth the wait. I was so happy when you returned to NYC.I have lived vicariously through your adventures and still hope to experience some with you some day.I am so sad about your friend.I don't even know what to say other than I will hold her in my heartThank you Betts for this blog. I love the way you write. Love, Tricia XO

  2. What beautiful words Miss Beets--gives us many lessons to think about--Happy New Year to you and may 2014 bring you much happiness and good health…..LOVE and BIG HUGS!!